Slipped away

I miss you, I miss you so bad. I won't forget you. I hope you can hear me, cause I remember it clearly the day you slipped away. It was the day I found it won't be the same. I didn't get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand. I wish that I could see you again, I know that I can't.

I can't fake it, it wasn't fake. Now you're gone, there you go, to some place I can't bring you back. It's some place you won't be coming back. I miss you.

Time flies, it has been 49 days since you left.

Blocked

Oh shut it already. It's always about the past. What happens in the past stays in the past. Let it be, let it go. So harp no more over it ."Money makes the world go round"  I'm raised to keep this quote in mind. But the love for money is actually the root of all evil.

Many people these days tend to buy things they don't need with the money they don't have to impress the people the don't even like. 

Just some awesome segue again. So as of today, I've been single for a few months. 5 months plus to be exact. I use to jump from relationships to relationships, hoping and trying to find the right one. Someone who is willing to be there for me, hold on to me and stay with me forever. That's when I realized, all of this is fucking crazy. Maybe, just maybe I should start focusing on myself.  I mean I've wasted 6 years of my youth on the wrong guys after all. Well, it's pretty true that most of my gfs are happily attached, leading their little attached life. I'm just all alone here, but it took me a while to fight my denial. It's about time to finally find myself. 

If I could travel back in time to re live my wrong relationships, I would have done it again. I would have to get cheated on to realized that I trust people too easily. I would need to be overly controlled by someone to realized that I should never do controls on people. What's more important is to learn and grow from your previous relationships.

 I might have began to lose faith in love and nothing is able to change that fact.

Infected

I'm being infected with green poison.

What sorcery is this? I build my walls up and eventually got torn down with my own bare hands. This is tough as hell. Pretending like I didn't care but I do. Technically, it's easier to pretend that it didn't matter than to admit it's killing you. I can fake a smile, I can pretend to be happy, I can do a lot of these and you'll never find out. In reality, if you are silent about your pain, it will slowly consume you and eventually kill you on the inside.

Bitch cares, I pretended I could.'t care less. I mean I'm not the mushy type so obviously I'm at the losing end.

Pussy power. Be strong. Ima kill that motha fucking biatch.

On the contrary, I might be afraid of falling in love. My fear of being tied down and not having my freedom turns fairytale into a one man nightmare. Moreover, it's true that freedom is a lone road, thus explaining my contradicting plight.

I'm a strong girl. Even when I have tears trickling down my face, I still have two words, "I'm fine".

Halloween

In the real world, Halloween is when kids can dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In the girl world, is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girl can say anything else about it. However in this very country,we don't really take Halloween to that extend which is kinda disappointing. On the contrary, my awesome people and I did went for Halloween Zouk last night. Here are just some images taken.

Yes, Ima motha fucking bunny which freaking got scared in the club by some retard shit ass mask man. I almost died.

Guess what's worse? I'm actually down with slight fever and suffering from super bad alcohol rash. YOLO right?

Rude

The topic on cyber bullying has been going around. Many come up with campaigns and pledges on such an unsightly event, but does that really help? Sure enough it does bring about awareness but do people actually learn?

Pulling someone down will never help you reach to the top

I believe many internet users do come about such event in their life. Hiding behind your computers, being all keyboard warriors, trying your very best to make someone's life miserable by calling them names or saying things that aren't even true. What benefits do you actually gain after bringing someone down?

"Classic, expensive, you don't get to touch,"-Iggy Azalea. Do you even know who she is? Do you even know that it;'s a song lyrics? The fact that your didn't even get your facts right, clearly shows how shady you are.

So even before you start calling people names and commenting something mean about someone, do spare a thought on how that particular person might feel ya? If you do not wish to get such comments for yourselves, then don't do that to others. Think before you type.

If you happen to not like me, be my guest and kindly unfollow me. Thank you.

?

Being single is pretty awesome until you start to have a mini crush on someone. This shit ass feeling follows you till it starts to get stronger before crushing you flat. Does he likes you back? Or is he just playing? No one wants to get hurt. Indeed I was pretty afraid of getting hurt.

Sometimes love comes around. When they knock you down just get back up, when they knock you down. 

As crazy as it sounds,  I'm not looking for a relationship. I just wanna have a crush, a date. The feeling of liking someone but still having the ability to be free. 

Someone once told me, there are two 'in a relationship' types of people. There's this group that are "easy to love", leaving the rest "hard to love". Being the fucked up me, I belong in category two, thus relationships are just not for me.  Everyone gets hurt, I get hurt, you get hurt, but I hurt people too. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm not mushy, I'm just straight forward. I'm not romantic, I choose fun. I don't daydream, I face reality.

Turn it off

Is it just me who wishes to have a "give a fuck" switch within you so you could turn it on and off as you please? You'll always know when to stop caring, stop thinking but you just couldn't bring yourself to. It's a cold hard fact that I've been landing myself in situations like this.
The easier way to not get hurt is to not care, but that's the hardest thing to do.

You know, I'm not afraid to try again. I just don't wanna get hurt for the same reason. Should I leave things as it is and move the fuck out? I guess it's pretty clear that I gotta not give that much fucks. After all, a clear rejection will be so much better than a fake promise.

I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily and care too much.

And yes, I only do rant when I am unhappy. Blogging is a good platform for me to vent my shits off.