?

Being single is pretty awesome until you start to have a mini crush on someone. This shit ass feeling follows you till it starts to get stronger before crushing you flat. Does he likes you back? Or is he just playing? No one wants to get hurt. Indeed I was pretty afraid of getting hurt.

Sometimes love comes around. When they knock you down just get back up, when they knock you down. 

As crazy as it sounds,  I'm not looking for a relationship. I just wanna have a crush, a date. The feeling of liking someone but still having the ability to be free. 

Someone once told me, there are two 'in a relationship' types of people. There's this group that are "easy to love", leaving the rest "hard to love". Being the fucked up me, I belong in category two, thus relationships are just not for me.  Everyone gets hurt, I get hurt, you get hurt, but I hurt people too. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm not mushy, I'm just straight forward. I'm not romantic, I choose fun. I don't daydream, I face reality.

Turn it off

Is it just me who wishes to have a "give a fuck" switch within you so you could turn it on and off as you please? You'll always know when to stop caring, stop thinking but you just couldn't bring yourself to. It's a cold hard fact that I've been landing myself in situations like this.
The easier way to not get hurt is to not care, but that's the hardest thing to do.

You know, I'm not afraid to try again. I just don't wanna get hurt for the same reason. Should I leave things as it is and move the fuck out? I guess it's pretty clear that I gotta not give that much fucks. After all, a clear rejection will be so much better than a fake promise.

I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily and care too much.

And yes, I only do rant when I am unhappy. Blogging is a good platform for me to vent my shits off.